Five Tips To Help You Cope In A Long-distance Relationship

 

Relationship is tough work. When you’re in one with a partner who doesn’t reside in the same area or state with you, it is even tougher. Strangely, some do not mind and even for people that mind, love sometimes leave them with no choice . Different reasons such as finding love on social media, relocation, change of job etc have left many wallowing in distance relationships they never prepared for. Whether you’re in a distance relationship by design or desire, there are some important tips to arm yourself with. What makes a relationship successful is relative but if these tips don’t make the relationship successful at least it will palliate the effects of the distance.

The list I have come up with are practical. They are genuine and lay no pretense to morality. They were collated from people I interacted with via my Facebook account. More so, I’ve been in distance relationships all my adult life so I can relate.

1 Communication.

Even more that the affection between two partners, it is important to keep the communication smooth and close when you’re physically apart in a relationship. You must both find a mutually acceptable communication channel. You must understand the social media platforms you both use. You must be ready to invest on data. Like someone jokingly pointed out that long-distance relationship can not survive without data. Communication is a two way activities. There must be feedback to gauge its effectiveness. Nothing is as tedious as a partner that lacks communication skills in a long distance relationship. In a situation where you have to rely on technological inventions to stay in each other’s company, it can be frustrating if either of the party is not creative with usage.

2 Trust.

Even though it should not require an expert advice to avoid dating someone you can’t trust, some of us are risk takers. We still go ahead nevertheless hoping such partners will earn our trust in the course of the relationship. It is fair but not something you can do in a long-distance relationship. You don’t want to give yourself needless health challenges like high blood pressure arising from your partner’s perceived infidelity. As a matter of fact, someone suggested that the best way to deal with trust issue in a long-distance relationship is to accept that you’re in an open relationship. Tough call but it can save you from heart attack. You know as they say, with great expectation comes great disappointment. The way I’ve personally handled this as a serial long-distance relationship person is to accept I am in my relationship because it pays me and not because I expect my partner to reciprocate in a particular exact way. It is crazy but keeps me healthy.

3 Redefine the Relationship.

Having a clear redefinition of your relationship status is very important especially when the relationship didn’t begin with the distance. In situations whereby distance was warranted by relocation or search for greener pasture, it is advisable to review what both parties still want from the relationship and not just assume. Assumption us the lowest level of intelligence yet it is amazing how much we indulge in it in our relationships. Ask questions bordering on grey areas. That way you’re better guided moving forward and some probable challenges that might arise from the new development can be addressed headstart.

4 Alternative Sexual Gratification.

Finding alternative way to get sexually satisfied is also important in a long-distance relationship. The major argument against long-distance relationship is that your partner can not be readily accessible physically when you need them which is an euphemism for sex anyway. You have to find away around this. And whatever way you devise must be mutually acceptable. Again this is where a lot of creativity comes to play. Your alternative to sex could be a side chic or guy. It could be phone sex. It could be sex toys. Whatever keeps you warm when your partner is unavailable is fine as long as it is mutually agreed.

5 Money.

Okay, I kept this last because it is very important. Whatever you do, don’t engage in a long-distance relationship if you’re not earning. I’d have written gainfully employed but then I wanted to cut people born with silver spoons some slacks. Everything you probably need aside attention to assuage the reality of the distance between you and your partner will require having a lot of cash to spare. It might overwhelm you if you don’t have the means no matter how much in love you feel in your marrow. From trying to bridge communication gap through mobile calls, video chats or even frequent transportation to either of the lover’s place of residence, you have to spend money. You might need to prioritize your pressing needs before going into what you can not sustain. Is it love from a distance you want right now or financial stability? Atimes having just one of the duo involved in the relationship to be financially stable is enough to drive the process. But generally, it works better when the two lovebirds are financially able to bear the brunt of the distance.

Okay that’s about the few tips I’d be giving on going into a long distance relationship. I have been careful not to include the very obvious tips such as love, attention and all. Of course there are many more. If you have some from personal experience or other people’s experiences you’d like to share, please let’s have your feedback. You’d be amazed at how useful it might be to someone reading. Cheers!

 

By Ogbeni La

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